Scratch and Dent

Likening life to a used car, the more miles we travel the more we can expect scratches and dents; outwardly and inwardly. As I’m travelling down this leg of the journey, I vainly attempt to disguise the years with with a little body work - cosmetics and hair color. Knees are definitely stiffer. If I turn wrong, the back will go into a spasm that leaves me temporarily stooped and crooked. Ahh, the “ravages of time” have set in. A few dents are just the results of getting older. Others are due to having lived life in the fast lane. In the last fourteen months I’ve acquired plenty of scars with cancer treatments. While “new rides” are shiny and eye catching, used cars like mine have the marks of endurance hinting at an interesting expedition.  

Trials really do test our metal, test the character and prove our road worthiness, so to speak. An unproven vehicle may not be able to withstand the first brush with danger,  but the one built to last can endure many hardships. As previously stated, any strength or endurance I’ve found to stay in this race is positioned in Christ alone; I cannot and will not claim any credit.  Consider then what God’s Word says about the need for a good foundation, built upon the rock of Christ Jesus. “He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.” (Psalm 40:2) We are nothing without Jesus! Only He can form and conform us to successfully overcome danger and harm. The Apostle Paul who called himself the least of the apostles said this about trials: “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed-- always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.  For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-12)

We see here the mention of the outward evidence of adversity, as well as the inward bruising and injury wrought by the desire to live godly in a fallen world. This type of scarring not so easily seen can cause those who’ve tried to build their lives in pursuit of worldly pleasures to eventually crash and burn. The life built on the truth of God’s Word however can persevere through sorrow and suffering knowing eternity with Christ awaits and nothing on earth can compare to the glory that will be revealed. (1 Peter 5:1) Oh yes, how much seemingly simpler life would be without the bumps in the road, without the rebuff, and rejection that comes with seeking to live a life pleasing to God. Yet this fire further refines us and produces a character that continues to love on others the way Jesus did (even) when His journey took Him all the way to Calvary’s cross where He said: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)    

Few get through this life without battle scars of some kind. Be encouraged that Jesus knows the reason behind this season in your life and will continue traversing the highway with you, upholding you each mile you are destined to go. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ…”(1 Peter 1:6,7) “Oh, bless our God, you peoples! And make the voice of His praise to be heard, Who keeps our soul among the living, and does not allow our feet to be moved. For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. But certainly God has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, nor His mercy from me!”  (Psalm 66:8-10, 19-20)

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One Step At A Time

Way down the road, I can see where I’m going and it’s an amazing place with no crying, no more death, or sorrow. Night and darkness have vanished away. Even the sun and the moon have disappeared from existence. Nothing obstructs the view of the Lamb of God. Every mountain and hill have been laid low. A pure river of the water of life flows from His throne. (Isaiah 40:4, Revelation 21 & 22) I know where I’m going and that my friends is to be with Jesus forever in His glorious kingdom. Between now and then life is lived one day at a time, one step at a time. No mere cliché – tis true. For all of us our time here is but a vapor, a mist that appears for a little while and vanishes away like the darkness. (James 4:14) Without Jesus as Lord and King, life is truthfully empty, devoid of hope and meaning. Only He can satisfy the innate need to be forgiven and reconciled to the Creator of the universe. Only He can provide the peace that surpasses understanding. (Philippians 4:7) If you know Jesus in a real and intimate way, far beyond the bounds of religious ritual, I’ll see you there in that place of eternal bliss. Only Jesus fulfilled all the requirements of the law as He hung upon that cross. There’s nothing more we can do.

With Jesus by our side, paving the way ahead, it’s possible to not only endure trials that come our way, but to discover more love for Him than ever before. As sure as I know the distance from the earth to the sun, I know for sure I don’t really have a “strong constitution.” I don't always “think positively.” I am kept by the Savior of mankind and am positive about this because His Word says so. He is strong when I am weak. It has been so plainly seen this past year as I’ve relished being a member of the body of Christ. Think of me as a little toe in this trial with cancer – a weaker member uplifted by many strong arms belonging to my brothers and sisters in Christ. These dear ones lifted me up in prayer as I took one step at a time toward the Lord, facing Heaven despite the encumbrances of this earth.

I look way down the road and see Jesus. Soon I will meet Him face to face, perhaps in day or in a moment. That is up to Him. The point is, I am ready whenever He chooses to call me home. I have learned in dealing with cancer that it is an exercise in futility, a total waste of time, to allow the mind to drift into what might happen in the future.  God lives, breathes and moves in the present and provides fullness of joy despite a cancer diagnosis. If you know Jesus, the way down the road is easy because we can cast all our cares upon Him. Be encouraged to press on my friends to the upward call of God because He knows the way home – one step at a time. (Philippians 3:14)   

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The Great Physician

"Doctors, nurses and all your supporting cast; oh how we need your expertise to make us better, but why do you forget sometimes that we are people too, not case studies, certainly not merely pin cushions?" One obvious downside to dealing with a major illness is the feeling of being held hostage by the healthcare system. How absolutley necessary it is to have the poking, prodding and injecting required to establish a correct diagnosis and get treatment. Yet we cry out, “Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me; O Lord, make haste to help me!” (Psalm 40:13)

I absolutley believed the Lord could heal me from cancer at any time, but in the meantime asked Him for wisdom for the correct steps to take in getting well. Submitting to chemotherapy,  constant scans and x-rays are part of the package. While some in patient care were impatitent and not so caring, I wondered if perhaps they are heavy laden too and I should pray that the Savior will give them rest. (Matthew 11:28) Could my suffering be a divine appointment to act on their behalf as an intercessor to the Lord? In God’s universe nothing is left up to chance for those who love Him.

I look around. Those in white coats seemingly focus on my diagnosis, forgetting that I’m a person, gazing intently at their clipboards. Others waking me at 5:00 a.m. by shoving an x-ray plate under my surgically wrapped back. “Ouch!” Perhaps they too are in need of prayer. Likening my situation to Joseph, one of Jacob’s 12 sons being (falsely) imprisoned, brought needed perspective. (Genesis 39:20-chapter 40) Joseph didn’t let his bondage hinder him from speaking God’s truth to those around. Similarly God could use my bondage to chemotherapy to help set free those held captive by sin.

When my doctor told my husband and I the statistical probability of surviving Stage 4 cancer was around 10%, we of course felt discouraged. The heart sinks with the thought of this life and the plans we had being cut short, but the Lord quickly reminded us; He knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and that we don’t live by statistics, but by faith in the Son of God who loves us and gave Himself for us. (Galatians 2:20) About midway through chemo treatments I was feeling frustrated with a key person on my healthcare team. I asked the Lord why He had given me this person to work with and He quickly answered – “So you, Cherrie, will put your trust in Me and not in man.” Ah yes. I know all my trust I freely give to Jesus, but that principle came home to roost once again at the height of my anxiety.

Jesus has many names: King, Messiah, Chief Cornerstone, Prince of Peace, Everlasting God. He is also the Healer as Matthew 4:24 points out: “And His fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto Him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick , and those that had the palsy; and [Jesus] healed them.” I know He created the universe in six days, just like He said. I know He raises the dead. He is the Great Physician to whom we should look and to whom we should pray in times like these. Friend, if you are struggling with a major illness right now, I do understand your battle. Let’s pray together to seek His wonderful face and accept His comforting embrace. He paid it all. Hallelujah!

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An Ounce of Prevention

As part of the wrap up to my radiation treatments I was required to meet with my lively, professional and caring radiation oncologist. In our discussion I shared how the Lord had seen me through all of my treatment thus far. He pointed out we had done what we could to keep the cancer from coming back (through my tours into their Tomo machine - into what I liked to call the “cooker”). Reflecting on the decision to treat this way the doctor said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”  My immediate excitement over his choice of words surprised him, but served to again reassure me the Lord indeed had been in this plan. This wasn't the first time I heard this old adage. 

My mind quickly to travelled back to the debate that occurred in early September over whether to take the risk of radiation so soon after surgery.  I had been vacillating about the prospect of getting “zapped.” Naturally after all the treatment I had already had experienced I wasn’t up for more. One day, on the way in to work, as I pondered whether to go forward with radiation, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” popped into my head. I concluded it was the Lord’s way of telling me to move forward and trust Him, but I had to laugh, thinking how strange the Lord would use a silly saying to make up my mind. Then again, “why not?” If the Lord used a donkey – yes a donkey to speak His will, He can use anything He wants.

The donkey belonged to a man named Balaam and as they travelled, the donkey had its eyes opened to see the Angel of the Lord withstanding Balaam and preventing him from going the wrong way. Likely accustomed to the donkey’s stubbornness and perhaps in his own arrogance, Balaam tried to insist the donkey go his way. After striking the donkey three times Balaam heard the Lord speak through the donkey. Balaam must have been in shock and awe. (Numbers 22:18-28) It’s amazing the things the Lord uses to get our attention, sometimes a donkey and sometimes an old adage. It shouldn’t be that surprising however. When considering for a moment how complex all the different pieces of creation are it's not amazing how ingenious the Creator of the universe can be!

To the reader I would appeal to the very real possibility that “an ounce of prevention” is needed in your life. If you are physically suffering in some way but reluctant to go get checked out, don’t hesitate; don’t wait until it’s too late and you’re battling a bigger problem like cancer. A risky lifestyle more often than not means paying the price physically in some way years down the road. A spiritual check-up may be what’s needed. The God of the Universe, the One Who created every living thing – the ground upon which they tread, the sky in which they fly, and the sea in which they swim has endless love for His creation. Do you know Him? Does He know you? Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.” (John 10:14) Religion can’t save the sin-stained heart – only Jesus can. Speaking of our enemy Satan (the thief), Jesus also said; “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) If you feel the tug of the Holy Spirit wooing you to follow God and do His will, gladly take that “ounce of prevention” and reap the peace of knowing the Lord is with you, guiding and providing each step of the way.

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Hallelujah Jesus!

In good times and bad God is on the throne. Who wouldn’t be ecstatic over the Lords’ many triumphs to sustain life and make miracles in this broken world? It’s amazing the sun comes up every morning, the hummingbird draws nectar in midair and the human body weathers all the heart desires to try and destroy it. God is gracious in so many ways. He truly does not want any to perish….without having the chance to know Him. (2 Peter 3:9) In my case I can look back on life and reflect with certainty on the many times the Lord preserved my life despite the stupid, foolhardy choices I made. There’s no escape clause from suffering the consequences of those choices. In my case being a former smoker I can attest to paying the price for abusing my body. The Lord may allow one to be immediately healed from a serious illness, but it’s essential to remember He does it for His glory, for His purpose. This is a hard pill to swallow for sure, that we can’t somehow claim credit, but a much better way to look at God especially in bad times.

God is sovereign. “Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.” (Psalm 100:3) The truth be told we try to make God into our image. We ask Him to prove Himself by meeting our demands, by treating Him like a genie, expecting Him to answer in the affirmative after we’ve prayed a certain way, practiced religion as expected or allocated money to what we think He cares about. The danger with making God in our image is when hard news hits we want to cut and run, maybe even curse God. Our true view of the Lord plays out in a crisis. Is that faith so well professed founded upon the rock of Christ Jesus or the opinions of well meaning men or women?

Jesus said, “whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24-25) To anyone facing a crisis, a watershed moment in life, I would say with complete empathy ‘delve deeper into your understanding of who God is.’ While asking God to show Himself strong in your life, beg Him to increase your faith; not for faith’s sake but for His glory so that others may see; “man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) The Lord will not withhold revelation and understanding of His character from anyone truly seeking to know Him. We can then jump for joy anytime in pounding rain or warm sunshine and shout “Hallelujah Jesus” because He never changes; He is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

Evan Wickham performs "Hallelujah Jesus"

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The New Normal

No. What? You can’t be talking to me. I have other plans for life. I don’t have time for this. A mass – what does that mean? It can’t be cancer, but it is cancer! Now they’re talking about chemo treatments and follow up visits. Scans, blood tests, MRI’s – it’s all Greek to me. I’m trying to absorb all this new information while still in partial denial. My schedule is now filled with appointments and though my doctor said my “health comes first” I insisted on continuing to work through eight months of chemo treatments. Thank the Lord my co-workers and boss have been so understanding and flexible. I needed to maintain some sense of normalcy in a world turned upside down.

Not one person I know of takes it just fine when unwelcome news knocks at the front door. As a Christian I’d already experienced many times the Lord had carried me through, and He reminded me when the cancer news arrived, He would be there to bring me through again. A long but not lost friend asked me a couple of weeks after my surgery, what I had learned about God from having cancer. High on the list of learning experiences was the truth of this scripture passage coming to bear fruit in my life: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

This is the new normal. My body has changed as a result of treatment. There are scars front and back and my feet will never be the same as they were before chemo and neuropathy did damage. Thanks be to God that I can walk and my scars tell a story of survival, not according to my strength and purpose, but by God’s will to tell of His glory now more than ever. This is the new normal, allowing my body to be a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to Him. (Romans 12:1-2)   The apostle Paul laid it all down for the sake of the Gospel; to be an acceptable witness for Christ. Under inspiration of the Holy Spirit he writes: “Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness-- besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches.” (2 Corinthians 11:25-28) We see above all his concern was for the furtherance of the Gospel.

Maybe this new normal is my chance to be more real than I ever thought possible as an ambassador for Christ. Though my outward body is perishing I have the hope of glory, the hope of meeting Jesus Christ face to face one day, at a time of His choosing. Though my schedule is often dictated by doctors, I have the assurance of timelessness being in Heaven with Christ and all believers past. Finally as a believer in Jesus, I have the promise of receiving a new body. “Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory."  (1 Corinthians 15:51-54) Let the new normal continue to unfold all the way into eternity.

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The Light to My Feet

A couple of days ago day my husband leaped out of bed when he heard thud, thud, thud, “ouch!” He found me in a contorted position on the stairs holding my right foot, but in fact I was kicking myself for not watching where I was going. At 5:00 a.m., when it’s still pitch black outside, I will be sure to turn the lights on after getting out of bed; before going downstairs to make my morning tea. Through all the months of chemo treatments, surgery and now radiation I have taken very good care of myself, even going so far as to watch my church webcasts at home on Sundays rather than risk picking up some airborne bug sitting amongst the flock. But that dark morning, going down the stairs was a little different story. Fortunately, my bruised big toe turned out to be sprained rather than broken; praise the Lord. It’s when we’re not paying attention, when we’re walking in the dark, that we hurt ourselves.

Later that day, I began thinking of the spiritual analogies that might be drawn from this accident. The world is full of pitfalls and snares that can trip us up, causing us to fall. Wolves in sheep’s clothing promise the world and deliver nothing - crooking the finger and drawing the undiscerning off the path to more emptiness than every known before. Tragic stories like these have been retold over and over again laying the all blame on the wolf, forgetting one thing that’s true for every human – myself included; "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) The Lord alone completely knows and is equipped to rightly judge our hearts. I have observed however, that we as people have a tendency to throw caution to the wind, gravitating toward the pleasures of the world rather than embracing what is right and true.

There’s a tendency of course to make truth subjective now more than ever, but there simply cannot be more than one way to God. Jesus Christ alone made the way for us to reach God the Father. The Bible teaches He gave His life as a ransom for many. (Mark 10:45) The Christian life isn’t about religion filled with guilt, duty and ritual; it’s a relationship with the Living God who loved us so much He laid down His life for us. It is the path He paved I seek to find and follow. He is the Light of the World. He says that those who follow Him “shall not walk in darkness but have the Light of Life.” (John 8:12) Though I will not ever be perfect in this life, with His light on me and in me, I should not stumble or spiritually fall. As I keep my eyes on Him, He keeps me as the apple of His eye and hides me under the shadow of His wings. (Psalm 17:8)

My friends, in dark moments, let us keep the Light of Christ on by keeping in step with Jesus, looking to Him and abiding in His Word no matter what trial we face. Let us comfort each other along the way, agreeing with the psalmist who writes: “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

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