When very caring people lovingly ask
me ‘how I’m doing’ usually somewhere in the conversation I feel the awkwardness
of how to respond to the statement – “You
look so good.” Even though they’re saying I don’t look as though I have cancer, which I’ve learned to take as
a compliment to the Lord, there’s always more than meets the eye. The challenge
with anything physical is that the outward might appear good, but the inside is
anything but good. I guess it’s best to remember that outside does not always
reveal the inside. One recent example is
an MRI scan I had done less than a week ago. Although I’m looking okay, only
the scan could go past the outside and catch multiple cancerous nodes found in my
(remaining) right lung.
There’s a stereotypical idea of what
people with cancer should look like. Pale
skin, yellow complexion, thinning or no hair, weight gain, weight loss,
unsteady gait, and maybe oxygen dependent are a few of the outward features
that come to mind. People may experience one or more of
these side effects at various stages of treatment depending on how long it’s
been since they were first diagnosed. The biggest change that’s occurred and
endured for me is thinner and straighter hair; much straighter hair. I was bald
for at least 6 months in between; wearing a wig during daytime work hours and
switching to a scarf or cap in the evenings. For me it was easier to don the
wig every day, rather than re-tell the cancer story countless times to those
who hadn’t discerned the difference in my appearance. After I stopped taking chemo my hair grew
back straight, straight, straight. Early on, I hoped those tempted to say they liked
it better curly would get a little tongue tied.
Too fragile to perm, it’s just going to remain straight for awhile.
I’m so glad the Lord loves us so much,
and thankfully His love isn’t contingent upon our outward appearance. When the
prophet Samuel was sent to Bethlehem to anoint the next King of Israel, the
Lord eliminated any possible contenders based on physical attributes and instead
(in David) the youngest, most inexperienced son. He proclaimed his selection
process this way:
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him.
For the Lord does not
see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
(1 Samuel 16:7)
It’s good to remember it is better to
enter Heaven ‘maimed’ on the outside than have that door kept closed by
refusing to wholeheartedly receive Jesus Christ. (Matthew 18, Mark 9) After all, these old, earthly tents weren’t
made to enter Heaven. What will the completely transformed bodies be like? Look
like? The scriptures are chock full of gems on this subject to treasure. Yet as
it is written: "Eye has not seen,
nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God
has prepared for those
who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9). Praise God He will reveal so much to us if we’ll only listen, allowing His Word to penetrate deep inside.
